


The Deepest Kind of Love

by morganoconner



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M, Romance, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-18
Updated: 2010-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-18 06:57:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/186212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morganoconner/pseuds/morganoconner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen finds a way to Jared’s heart that he’s not even searching for</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Deepest Kind of Love

Jared is throwing things around the room in a frenzied state of panic when Jensen finds him. He’s on his knees at that moment, digging through a box in the closet, throwing things over his shoulder as he paws his way through the items. He hears his bedroom door open and glances over, his eyes wide and upset.

Jensen is instantly by his side, kneeling down with a hand on his shoulder. “Jay? What is it, what’s wrong?”

Jared takes a breath, tries to calm himself. “Nothing, it’s so stupid, Jesus. What are you even doing here, I thought you were already on your way to Texas?”

Jensen shrugs, his eyes darting away for a moment. “Change of plans. I decided to stay in Vancouver a little longer. Sorry about just barging in, but you weren’t answering the doorbell, and it was unlocked…”

“No big,” Jared says, waving the apology away. His eyes are still frantically darting around the room, searching out hidden spaces he may have missed the first time around, and he never even sees Jensen’s hand dart out to smack the back of his head gently. “Hey!” he yelps. “What was that for!”

“Jay.” Jensen’s eyes lock on his and he raises a eyebrow. “What’s the problem?”

Jared looks down at the floor, flushing a little. “It’s just…I have that meeting next week about the movie role I’ve been really hoping for. And…I was already sort of freaking out about it. So I went to grab my book, and I _can’t find it_.” He looks back up at Jensen, miserable.

Jensen’s brow furrows, and Jared looks away again, now embarrassed. “My favorite book, the one I always read when I’m stressed out. Not surprised you don’t remember.” He doesn’t say, _because I was never upset when you were living here_. He knows it will just make Jensen uncomfortable.

“Course I remember,” Jensen says, and when Jared looks back, his expression has cleared. “ _Where the Red Fern Grows_ , right? You used to carry it around on set when we started filming.”

“Yeah…” Jared blinks, because he hadn’t actually remembered that until Jensen mentioned it. It seems like so much longer than five years ago. “Anyway, that book is like my lifeline, as dumb as that is, and it’s not _anywhere_ , and I think I may have left it at home when I went to visit my family and wow, this really is so stupid.” He runs a hand through his hair, breathes out noisily.

“Not stupid, Jay. We all have our ways of coping with crazy emotional stuff.” Jensen’s smile is reassuring, the way it _always_ is, and something loosens in Jared’s chest.

He sighs. “Yeah, I guess. Sorry, man, I guess I’m just sort of a wreck right now.” He laughs, a little self-deprecatingly as Jensen stands and then reaches down to help him to his feet.

“You’re gonna do great, Jay, trust me.” Jensen reaches out and tugs him into a hug, and Jared falls into it more easily than he probably should. “And hey, even if for some crazy reason you don’t get the part, you can always spend the break bugging me and the family. You know they’d love to see you.”

Jared nods, finally makes himself pull away. “So, uh…”

Jensen cuts in smoothly before he can say anything. “Anyway, just wanted to stop in, but I should get going, have some stuff I need to take care of. But I’ll come see you before you go, huh? Make sure you haven’t offed yourself or something.” He winks, a wide grin crossing his face, and with a parting wave, he’s gone, as swiftly as he’d appeared to begin with.

It’s only when Jared’s been standing in the same spot staring at the empty doorway for five minutes that he realizes Jensen never told him why he’d delayed leaving Vancouver.

~*~

It’s two days later when Jensen finds him next. He’s sitting at his kitchen table going over the lines he’s supposed to read for the part in a few days. His breakfast sits untouched in front of him, slowly growing colder and more congealed, and it’s probably not even edible by now, but he’s not really hungry anyway, can’t eat when he’s nervous.

Sadie and Harley lay at his feet, and he’s absently reaching down petting them when the door opens and Jensen pokes his head in. “Hey there,” he says with a smile. “Got a few minutes?”

Jared has nothing _but_ time until his flight to LA in four days, so he nods, kicks the chair next to him out for Jensen to sit in. When Jensen steps in and closes the door, Jared notices he’s carrying a nondescript plastic bag, and he tilts his head at it curiously.

He’s surprised when Jensen’s face turns red and he holds the bag out. “So…I figured you wouldn’t just take the easy road and go to the damn bookstore yourself.”

Jared’s throat tightens, and he swears his hand trembles just a little as he reaches out and takes the plastic bag. “Jen…” he murmurs, opening it up and peering inside. His heart stutters in his chest when he sees what he’s holding. “Oh my God.”

In the corner of his eye, he sees Jensen reach up and rub the back of his neck self-consciously. “I happened to come across it, and…yeah. Just…thought you might like it.”

Jared reverently lifts the first edition copy of his favorite book, handling it like the precious gem it is. It’s in amazing condition, even has it’s dust jacket, and he wants to hug it, but he’s afraid to even _breathe_ on it. “Oh my _God_ , Jensen,” he says, his eyes wide as he looks at his best friend.

Jensen laughs a little. “Dude, it’s not gonna break on you, I promise. It’s old, but it’s not _that_ old. And…seriously, don’t make a big deal out of it, okay?”

Scoffing, because that’s going to be impossible, Jared turns back to the bag and pulls out the second item inside. The same book, but this time a battered, much-loved paperback. It’s not the one he lost, but it’s close, and this he _does_ clutch to his chest, not even caring if he looks like an idiot for it, because that’s when Jensen’s smile goes from uncomfortable to warm, and those green eyes sparkle, and he stops being able to breathe properly altogether.

“The second copy, obviously, is to read, because I know you’re a giant freak who won’t want to touch the other one,” Jensen says with a laugh. He fixes a curious look on Jared. “Y’know, you never told me why you love that book so much. It’s so _sad_ , man.”

“Yeah…I cry every time I read it,” Jared says with a huff of laughter, not afraid to admit it. “Just…I dunno. It’s heartbreaking, but I grew up with dogs, and this book is all about their loyalty and their love getting them and their master through anything. It just stuck with me as a kid, and then later became my…comfort book, I guess. I can’t really explain it.”

“What’s your favorite quote?” Jensen asks, and Jared isn’t surprised that Jensen knows him well enough to know that he has one.

He smiles. “ _‘People have been trying to understand dogs ever since the beginning of time. One never knows what they'll do. You can read every day where a dog saved the life of a drowning child, or lay down his life for his master. Some people call this loyalty. I don't. I may be wrong, but I call it love--the deepest kind of love.’_ ,” he quotes from memory, leaning down and giving quick, adoring pats to both his kids.

Jensen’s eyes go soft, and something lurking in them makes Jared sit up straight and stare at him. “So you like?” he asks, looking away just enough for Jared to notice.

“I love,” he says quietly, swallowing at everything he means but can’t say. “Seriously Jen, I can’t tell you what this means to me. _Thank you_.”

“Not a problem, man, especially if it helps you stop freaking the hell out,” Jensen replies with a grin as he stands. “Anyway, sorry to cut this short, but I have some stuff to do, so -” He’s already striding toward the door, so doesn’t see Jared leap out of his chair and take three quick steps toward him until the taller man is grasping his arm and turning him back around.

“Jensen.” Jared’s voice is calm, _Jared_ is calm, way calmer than he thinks he should be, and he doesn’t understand it, but he’s grateful for it all the same. “Why’d you stay in Vancouver?”

Jensen won’t look at him. “Just had some stuff to take care of.”

“‘Some stuff’,” Jared quotes back at him. “Some stuff like watching out for your friend who you knew was going to spend a week having anxiety attacks?”

“Well…there may have been that,” Jensen mumbles with a shrug. He very slowly raises his eyes back to Jared’s. “So, what, a guy’s not allowed to worry about his best friend?”

“Course he is,” Jared says. “Jen…” He thinks about the book sitting on the table, about how much it means to him that Jensen even _remembered_ his favorite book. He thinks about a thousand moments before it, a thousand times when Jensen went out of his way for Jared’s sake, when he gave that extra smile, or offered that extra hug, or made a joke just to get Jared to laugh.

He thinks about the deepest kind of love, and the hundreds of different forms that love can take, and he thinks about which of them is the way he’s feeling right at this moment.

He thinks about a million things in the span of a few seconds, and then he doesn’t think at all.

He just leans forward, brings a hand up to caress Jensen’s cheek, and watches those green eyes widen as he slides his lips against his best friend’s.

When Jensen melts against him, Jared wraps him in his arms and thinks about all the moments like this they should have had, if they weren’t such idiots, and then he thinks of all the moments like this they _will_ have.

All the worry and stress he’s been feeling for weeks now vanishes under Jensen’s care, kissed away with caring and understanding and friendship and love.

 _The deepest kind of love_.


End file.
